People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.
I am finding myself drawn to this quote (thanks Tall Mom!) as I enter this crossroads in my life. I never thought I would be the type of person to desire to stay home with my kids. But boy do I ever! But I am also finding myself drawn to work to stay sharp mentally and emotionally. I guess this is the struggle that all mom's face and am hoping I can figure out a way to make it work for our little family!
I have always thought of myself as knowing what I want in life and who I am. But as I approach the big 3-0, I find that I really don't know much about anything about myself. This post is really about helping me find me.
Words/ phrases that describe me:
- always wanting to help
- always wanting to achieve
- never wanting to feel stupid or unable to accomplish something
- do not take failure well
- sometimes/ alot of times struggling to figure out where to go next in life
According to my quote up there, I should not be defined by these things, but look at what I want to be and just create it.
What do I want to be?
- everything to everyone! ;-) this must be the problem!
- a great chef!
- a fast runner!
- an excellent mama who is around to help my kids become everything they can be
- wise beyond my years
- slightly quirky
- a great photographer
- a great crafter
I want to find something outside of home that I can channel some energy into. I have this strong desire to help others but have yet to find a way to release that.
As I write this, I think I have decided (ha!) to run NYC for a charity no matter if I get in the lottery or not. Maybe this will help me feel better about my impact on the world. I know that I impact newbie and baby girl. But I want to do more and maybe this will be the start of that for me.
Do you ever feel like you are dangling on the edge of a cliff that if you take the risk and fall great things will be waiting for you?
How do you describe yourself?
What would you like to make of yourself?
On a completely different note:
Yesterday I ran 3 miles at a 7:32 pace! Yes, that is right! 3 miles under 8 minutes! IN A ROW!